white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
