Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
