He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
