mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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