Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
