Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
