I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
