he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't think brook has ever known best
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
