lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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