It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
