he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize