is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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