i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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