so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
