3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
