where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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