Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
