I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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