singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I've blown a few things in my day
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
