Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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