it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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