I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
