she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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