We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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