Where did you get a picture of my penis
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
