Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
