so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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