i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
