you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
