If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
