Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think i have two assholes
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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