My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My vagina is officially offended.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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