he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
