two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
