I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Holy sore nipples Batman
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
