that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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