Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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