Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
