he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
