Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
