I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I stole a fireplace last night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
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No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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