I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize