Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
