i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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