either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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