my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
