I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize