yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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