It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I love you. Go after that dick
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
