you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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