chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
