i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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