Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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