So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need to sanitize my soul.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
