in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
