Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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