i just had sex bonerless
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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