I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
