Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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