is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Did I show you my penis last night?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
