I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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