yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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