are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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