apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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