Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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