So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
