Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
